Loss
by the stargate time traveller
Summary: AU. Instead of Gill that was kidnapped in the series finale, it was Rachel. Suspended, Rachel gets a car journey from hell.
1. Chapter 1

**I was a bit disappointed by the Scott and Bailey finale because I thought Rachel should've had a much more defined role. Aside from that I enjoyed the tension, so much so before the episode even started I thought I'd suffer a Heart attack! I can only guess how my blood pressure took the rest of the episode. **

**Loss. **

* * *

Suspension.

How Rachel Bailey hated that fucking word. Life for her seemed to be going from bad to worse, first marrying Sean to discovering how much she hated living with him once they were married. Second getting drunk that first time, getting shagged by some random bloke who thought she was called Suzy. Third being forced to live with a man who called her mad. Four, her needing to stay with different people, which led to five.

Rachel had been staying with Janet Scott, her best friend and fellow DC, but it hadn't been an ideal arrangement for any of them. It wasn't helped by the fact Rachel had someone in the Scott household who thought she was little more than a waste of space. Dorothy, Janet's mother, disliked Rachel for reasons she didn't understand, well now she had new reasons which led to six.

Dorothy had wanted her to go home, back to Sean, so then she wouldn't darken their home again. Rachel could see the point; she didn't like not going back to the sanctuary of her flat anymore than Dorothy did. Unfortunately for the stuck up old bitch, Rachel had little choice. Oh sure when they'd started going out again for the first time since their teens, Rachel had been tempted to marry and live with Sean. Yes, he had helped her during that mess Dom had shoved her into with the murder of Nick Savage, he'd helped her a lot. He'd supported her, he'd been there for her when he could've easily have turned a blind eye, but he hadn't.

That was what had persuaded Rachel to marry him, but it wasn't until after their wedding that she'd wondered if she'd made a mistake. She'd shrugged it off then, believing it to be post wedding jitters. After all she was a young woman, someone fresh from a murder inquiry, and worse, her career was hanging by a thread.

But the feelings she'd had of the marriage had only gotten worse.

Her marriage to Sean had been a mistake, one she was deeply regretting. It only led to her current issues, which led to sixth. Rachel had always had a problem with excessive drinking; it was one of the only releases some coppers had, but for some it often led to trouble. Rachel remembered all too well what had happened when her sister, Alison, who was none too impressed with her at the moment for what had gone wrong with Sean and wasn't speaking to her, invited her to a hen party for one of her mates, and they'd had a fight because Sean had told Rachel her mother wanted to see her, and Alison had promised her sister if she spoke one word to Sharon Bailey, who'd abandoned them, leaving Alison to take care of them since their dad was an abusive drunk, then she wouldn't speak to Rachel ever again.

Rachel had gotten so pissed she had no memory of what happened. The next morning at work she was arrested by DSI Julie Dodson for the attack, later murder, of Nick Savage. It hadn't been Rachel, but her brother, Dom.

You would've thought by now she would know better, but Rachel had no control over herself, once she had a glassful of wine inside her, she wanted more, and more, and more.

This time the now long list of disasters had found a new issue of problems for Rachel. She'd gotten drunk, and she'd dragged back to Janet's home an equally pissed Kevin Lumb, and Taisie, Janet's youngest, had watched them go at it. That led to problem seven. Janet had been furious, she'd dragged the pair of them and kicked them out of her house, calling Rachel disgusting, not that Rachel could blame her for that description, though it could've been harsher. Well anyway things had gone from bad to worse for the two friends, and Rachel had called her miserable, which led to their current falling out.

Fuck.

Problem number eight; Sean. Rachel had decided to come clean with him, and now because of that decision, Sean had come bursting into the office whilst she was working, punched the living shit out of Kevin, and shouted for all the world to hear that Kevin was shagging her. Gill had been furious, and she'd suspended her, but not before the CPS had informed the office it had been Kevin who'd been leaking information to the press.

It had been close to a week since her suspension had begun, she was divorcing Sean, but now he wanted to speak to her in a cafe.

Rachel was heading there now, and was praying this wouldn't end up as disaster number nine.

* * *

" Thanks for coming," Sean said tersely to her as she sat down. Rachel tried not looking into his eyes, they were dark with anger and hurt. Not that she could blame him.

Rachel nodded. " Your text sounded urgent," she got down to business, the sooner she was finished with this, the sooner she could leave.

" It was," Sean looked away for a second before focusing on her again. " How's Kevin?"

The neutral tone didn't bode well, and Rachel sighed. " I dunno," she admitted. " He's been kicked out of the syndicate."

" Why?" The surprise showed on Sean's face, but there was also delight on his face.

" Leaking information to the press," Rachel replied; she didn't need to elaborate, Sean was a policeman enough to know the seriousness of the offense. Besides that he'd known his now ex wife had been working on the Beven case, and a lot of the information had been sensitive. Now Helen Bartlett's history was practically well known, Rachel had heard that the police had been dispatched several times to stop people from attacking Helen in the streets. It pissed Rachel off that something so painful was well known now.

Sean's eyes widened, then they narrowed. " He was the mole."

Rachel could only nod. Words were possibly too painful.

" How does it feel to be stabbed in the back, like you did me?"

Rachel felt uncomfortable with the rising anger in her ex's voice, and sought to defuse it. " Honestly, it felt like a knife being shoved into my head."

Sean sat back, and looked down into his coffee. " I'm sorry, Rachel," he muttered.

" What've you gotta be sorry for? I messed up," Rachel asked. " You're not the one to get drunk, twice, and sleep with different men whilst you were waiting for me back at the flat. Why are you sorry?"

Sean sighed. " This last week, I've been rethinking what happened to us, our marriage. You were right when you told me it wasn't working out. I pushed you into marrying me, I was so fast, pushing you with Hayden, your mother-" he couldn't speak for a second, taking a deep breath, " I was stupid. I should've waited, waited for us to get used to each other again. I'd rushed you, pushed you."

" You helped me," Rachel countered, unwilling to let Sean torment himself much longer. " Who was it who helped me reunite with my mother, even if she was still acting like a teenager who loves getting drunk? You also helped me prove my innocence with the taxi driver, and you helped me through that nightmare Dom left me in.

" It was my fault, too," Rachel sighed; now Sean had placed the cards on the table, his end, it was time for her to do the same. " When you helped me, I fell in love with you, or I thought I did. You were always there for me, supporting me, keeping me busy. When we married, it all seemed to end." She looked into Sean's face. Instead of looking judgmental, hostile even, he was instead looking supportive. For a moment Rachel was reminded of the times he'd worn the same face when she was in trouble, but she shook out of it. It was too late.

" I tried to hold the marriage together," Rachel confessed, " I'd hoped you and I could make something of it, but what happened?" Her sentence trailed off, making her ask the question that had been on her mind for months. " What happened to make you stop putting the effort into the marriage?"

" I did-" Sean retorted.

" No, you didn't," Rachel countered. " How many times did I try and start a conversation with you, only for it to go downhill 'cause you weren't interested?"

" I was interested-" then Sean trailed off, realising the truth. Rachel watched him carefully the same way she'd watched scum like Luke Farrell and Joe Bevan, she could see the cogs working in Sean's head.

" I thought I was interested," Sean said quietly, starting to see the truth in what Rachel was saying. He'd spent the last few days since sending the text trying to work through his anger against Rachel, but now he could see there was little to be angry about. Yeah, he was angry with her, and Kevin, but now it wasn't as severe as it was when he'd learnt the truth. " I mean, I thought you might want your space, but I didn't bother asking you about anything, not even how you were and all that," he looked at Rachel with horror.

Rachel felt tears well in her eyes, she nodded.

* * *

In the end, the two decided just to be friends. It was better than Sean spending the rest of his life being bitter, for that Rachel was grateful. Lighter than she'd been before the meeting, Rachel decided to do some shopping. Now she had her flat back, she wanted to get it back on track. Not that she had much else to do, not unless she wanted to go to the cinema, the pubs or clubs, or to the gym.

Parking her car in the car park, Rachel fetched a trolley, and spent the next hour choosing bits and pieces. When she got to the car and opened the boot, she them packed it with her goods. When she was finished, she rolled the trolley away. She was only gone a couple of minutes. When she got back, she clambered into the driving seat, and started up.

Rachel swore when she reached the traffic lights, and she sighed when she realised she would have to wait. Then out of the corner of her eye, a flash of movement as someone in the car with her lashed out, and then she was choking as something was tightly wrapped round her throat.

Rachel gasped, " What the fuck-?"

" Shut up, bitch."

The voice, it couldn't be -

The thing wrapped around her neck, a belt by the feel of it, was tightened until her head was tied to the headrest, but she could feel Helen close by though she could barely see her.

Rachel calmed down. Struggling wouldn't do any good, not with her neck tightened against the headrest, but it got worse. Helen took something out from behind her seat, showing a kitchen knife. What?

" Helen," Rachel said slowly and carefully, remembering everything in her police training about this kind of thing. " What're you doing?"

Helen's voice went into her left ear, her breath wafting into Rachel's face. Rachel recoiled at the smell of lager on Helen's breath.

" What does it look like? Now, do as you're told, or I'll shove this-" she held the knife up in front of her, only an inch from Rachel's eyes, " out your ear."

Rachel nodded stiffly, her only movement.

Great, problem nine.

* * *

One hour had already passed by the time Rachel had been kidnapped by Helen, and she had been forced to drive onto the motorway, following the directions given at the last minute. Every once in a while Rachel would glance at the mirror at Helen. The woman looked terrible, her face was pale, and her red rimmed eyes had bags under them. She seemed to have an inexhaustible supply of lager; she'd drunk enough of the swill to keep her happy.

A drunk with a knife.

Rachel waited until Helen was occupied taking another sip before she slipped her mobile out of her pocket, and she pressed the contact list. Her eyes flickered to Helen, but the other woman was drinking too much to watch her hostage.

Rachel needed to start a conversation as her fingers worked on the speed dial to reach the office, she needed to get Helen talking to let the team at Oldham know what was happening.

" Tell me what you're thinking," Rachel said quietly, pressing the send. Helen's put down her lager can and pressed her face close to the headrest with incredible speed. Rachel carefully made sure her phone was out of sight.

" I was planning on finding one of the others," Helen replied, " then I chose you."

" Others?"

" You know," Helen replied, " that fat bitch that headed the investigation, the thin one, and the blonde bitch."

Rachel swallowed. " Why me?"

" I would've preferred one of the others," Helen admitted, " but you, we're alike."

" How?"

The stink of lager came closer to Rachel's face. " Two abused children, hiding the scars behind a facade, a mask. Do you remember when you first met me?"

Rachel nodded stiffly. " Yeah, I do. You were working at the store, I saw you help a woman."

Helen nodded. Rachel's eye's flicked over to the rearview mirror to watch her face. Helen looked like she was remembering a past life. " Yeah, I worked hard for that job. Now I don't have it. All because of you, all because I trusted the police."

" You can't- personally, did I ever upset you?" Rachel asked, changing the question round, twisting her head as best she could so she could look at Helen properly without choking. Boy, she looked rough.

Helen laughed bitterly. " You lot, you've turned my life into shit. I've lost my job, my life, Louise's chucked me out when ignorant bastards threw bricks through her windows, poured piss and shit through her letterbox."

" But did I ever upset you? Me personally?"

Helen didn't seem to listen to her, " I wouldn't inflict my life on anyone, me. Not even on a dog. Having said that-"

" What do you want?" Rachel asked bitingly, losing her patience. " Sooner or later you've got to make a decision. We've been on the road for an hour now, you've been holding me at knifepoint. Do you honestly think no one wouldn't have noticed?"

" I had a roof over my head, DC Bailey, and someone who gave a toss about me," the mirror showed Helen to be smiling, though it faded, making her face become ugly. " I had a job," she repeated, " I earned money, and get this," she tapped Rachel on the shoulder with her knife, " I could go around a supermarket without some ignorant twat coming up and spitting me in the face. Or bastards pelting me in the street with shit."

" Helen, what does that have to do with me?"

" I want someone to take with me."

Rachel felt her mouth go dry. " What do you mean?" Then she answered her own question. " Fuck, you've had enough, haven't you? That's why you got into my car when I had my back turned, threatened me with a knife, and drinking yourself stupid.. You want to commit suicide."

Helen's voice became coy. " Yeah. It takes another to know another-"

" No-"

" No, what?" That last word from Rachel seemed to penetrate Helen's lager befuddled mind, and the woman became crazed, pushing the tip of the blade into the belt around Rachel's neck. Rachel winced as she could feel the already tightened noose round her neck become worse with the knife.

" No, what?!" Helen shouted; Rachel hoped her colleagues were paying attention to this, or else she was dead. Worse, she now had a very pissed off Helen poking a knife into her neck. She was drunk, angry, and she had fucking good reason to be. She had to be calmed down.

" I mean no as in you don't need to do all this," Rachel replied, thinking on her feet. " What you're doing is serious. Do you really think committing suicide is going to change people's opinion of you?"

" I don't care what people think."

Rachel swallowed as best she could, it was hard with the belt and the knife restricting your head. " You've not thought this through, Helen."

" Please feel free to think that Rachel. I can call you that, right?"

" Sure." Rachel replied readily; if she could get Helen to trust her a little bit more, maybe she'd be open up to persuasion. Anything to stop Helen from holding that knife close to her face. " Helen," she tried again to speak to her captor. " Do you remember all those sessions we spent together, in the interview room? Did I ever give you any reason to distrust me?"

Helen screwed up her face, torn between her anger and wanting to speak. Finally she answered, " No. In fact, I had started to like you. I still do."

You have a funny way of showing it, Rachel thought though she didn't dare force those words into her mouth.

" Okay, so you like me," Rachel replied; finally some progress. " I spent hours speaking and listening to you, you told me a great deal of your family history."

" Yeah, and look where it got me," Helen grew hysterical. " After that first time, I came forwards to tell everyone what had gone on in that...dungeon. It took ages, I admit yeah, but I came forward. Look what happened. Soon the papers were full of everything going on, who I was, what happened, and my relationship with Louise. All 'cause I trusted you."

Rachel knew she meant the police when she said ' you.' She cursed Kevin angrily in her mind. " I know, but listen Helen. The press weren't meant to know what was going on, there was a mole that leaked everything. I know the guy who did it, I know why he did it. I met him in a pub, he told me he was sick of our boss constantly looking down her nose at him, giving him shit. You think you're the only one to be fucked up?"

Rachel took a deep breath. " Helen, you need to relax. Let me pull over. We can talk, like two civilised human beings. We can work this out. We can talk through everything you're upset about- ARRRGGGHHH!" Rachel winced with pain as she felt something hit her on the head. Stars erupted in her mind as she tried to work her way through the sudden pain. Only her tensed shoulders and arms prevented her from losing control, though the shock had jolted the car.

Rachel gritted her teeth as Helen shouted in her ear. " Don't you dare stop this car! Stop this car a second longer, and then there'll be hilarious consequences. Not!"

That was it. Rachel lost her patience, fed up with the threats, angry about the belt tied round her neck, and with the knife sometimes shoved close to her eyeballs, and using her pain to give her the energy she shouted. " WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE GOING?!"

" We're going on the...M62. Eastbound," she smirked, " we're going to the seaside. You and me, pal."

Bitch, Rachel thought.

* * *

Helen had calmed down, drinking herself stupid. The times gave Rachel the perfect opportunity to check her phone. This was the only contact she had with the police. The phone had unlimited credit, so she wasn't worried. She just hoped they had the sense to listen to her.

Rachel checked her unwanted guest in the mirror. She had drunken so many cans it was a wonder she was sane. Jesus. If that was the state she sometimes got in when she herself got pissed, Rachel swore never to get drunk ever again.

" How did it happen?" Helen asked suddenly.

Rachel peered at her from the mirror. " What?"

" The abuse, how did it happen?" Helen asked. It was strange, Rachel mused, when she'd first met Helen she'd been impressed by how confident and smart the woman was, but now it was like looking at somebody else. The expression on her face as she peered back at Rachel gave her the impression of a fairytale villain suffering from ugliness, and was waiting to pounce because they had nothing better to do.

Rachel licked her lips. She was dying for a fag, or even a bottle of water. The phone line was still open, and Rachel did not want her colleagues to know the first thing about her. But, she realised, it might make Helen docile enough to persuade her to change her mind.

" It happened when I was a kid," she replied, " my father was an alcoholic, and my mum's no better. She goes round town, drinking her tits off, acting like a teenager." The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. " Occasionally, dad would raise his fists. Eventually his drunken rages pushed mum out of our lives, becoming more volatile each day. She left for someone else when I was twelve, leaving my elder sister to carry the weight." Bitterness seeped into Rachel's voice as she carried on. Now she'd been reunited with Sharon, and seen first hand that her mother hadn't changed a bit, Rachel found it hard to feel anything good for her. It saddened her a bit to admit that at this moment, with her life on the line, she couldn't muster the effort to actually feel anything good about her mother.

" She had a bright future ahead of her, Alison. My sister," she explained for Helen's benefit, uncaring if she'd actually worked it out for herself, but Helen was so rat arsed it hard to tell, " had a future. College, university even. A career. What did she get instead? Two kids, one only a few years younger, and another one who was getting his head emptier by the day." Tears poured down her face as she recounted the times she'd taken her fathers attention from Alison. Every single thing seemed to set the old bastard off. Food too hot, or too cold. No beer. No horses. No money. " I took the brunt of some of those hits for my sister and brother."

" You're very brave," Helen remarked quietly, sitting still as she remembered the times she'd been abused herself. " Does anyone know?"

Rachel shook her head. " No. Me and my sister have worked very, very hard to forget what happened," she peered at Helen with narrow, angry eyes, furious something so private would be known to her boss, and Janet. " I could wallow for years, remembering what went on in my old home, but I don't. I used my past to launch myself forwards into my future. Look where I am. A DC, hoping to be a DSI in the future, running my own MIT syndicate. That is my goal, one I've worked and dreamt of for yonks. So you see, I'm nothing like you. My father may have been a drunk, but if he had murdered anyone, I would've told the police. That's what makes us different."

Helen was silent, lost in thought. " Here's something I wanna know," Rachel asked angrily. " Why did you kidnap me, hold me at knife point, and tie this fucking thing round my neck? Do you seriously think I had anything to do with your arrest?"

" You were there," Helen snapped. " You held me, cuffed me as that blonde bitch you call a friend read me my rights."

" But the CPS made the decision to charge you, Helen," Rachel pointed out, " that's the point. You've got the wrong hostage."

Helen came close again, her knife suddenly close to Rachel's nose. " No, you're wrong. I have the right hostage. Rachel Bailey. Someone like me. Oh, you can argue with me, say you weren't abused, but the truth is you're another kid, screaming for help."

Rachel bit her lip. If the situation was different, Helen would've been decked already.

* * *

Aside from another self pitying rant from Helen, the car had been blissfully silent for Rachel. It gave her the time she needed to form plans and counter plans, but she couldn't do a thing until this fucking belt was off.

" Do you want some?" Helen's sudden question had Rachel peer at her through the mirror to see what she was talking about. Helen was holding up a can of lager.

Rachel grimaced at the thought of that can of shit touching her tongue, and making her choke in disgust. " I hate lager. It's piss from dogs, cats, men with bladder problems, and then fermented with shit from farmyard animals and sewage."

Helen laughed, drinking from her can not at all put off by Rachel's description. She wasn't the least bit bothered Rachel might be dehydrated by now, but Rachel had the air conditioning on, full blast, going into her face. She'd be alright for a while longer.

" It might make things easier, though," Helen's voice was suddenly as Rachel remembered it; thoughtful, quiet, intelligent. Rational. " If you're a bit pissed."

Rachel snorted, drawing Helen's attention. " No, thank you," she replied dryly. " I've got into my latest mess because I was drunk. I don't need to be drunk when I've got a belt fastening my head to my driver's seat."

" What do you mean?" Helen asked, curiously.

Rachel wondered to herself if she should even say another word. Some of it was taboo, and she didn't want to get into trouble with Gill and Janet later on, but with Helen's knife, who gave a shit? Besides it might clear the air back at the office.

" I dated this barrister, a couple of years back. Eventually we broke up when I found the bastard was married, had kids. After a while, his wife discovered his flings," Rachel decided to adjust the truth; the last thing she wanted was the truth of the PNC and the fact she'd blackmailed Nick into giving her his flat as punishment to become office knowledge. Not even Janet knew that sordid detail. " Then we dated each other again, but then he had someone try and kill me. He was arrested, but he was let off. By the CPS," she glared at Helen through the mirror, " so you're not the only one to suffer. Anyway, to cut a long story short, my brother murdered him, and I was arrested for it. I was practically the only suspect, gift wrapped for the police, the very people I worked for and with."

Helen was staggered by the anger, but Rachel went on. " I'd been with my sister, at a party, drunk. The next morning I had a killer hangover after getting out of some taxi, my head had a cut on it, and a beaten man only a few yards away. The party had been in the same building."

" Shit."

" Yeah," Rachel agreed. " I had a boyfriend, he helped me through it. He was proposing marriage, but I didn't want it because it was all too fast. One minute, we're meeting each other for the first time since our teens. The next he's proposing marriage. He even had an eight year old son, for fuck sake! The next he's saying how many beautiful kids we was going to have. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have kids. But not right now.

" My boyfriend helped me find the taxi driver to clear my name, and I learnt my brother had now murdered my ex. He was caught very quickly, then he blabbed I'd made him do it, and I was charged again. My brother," Rachel shook her head, " sometimes I wonder if his brains made the trip between childhood and adulthood. So thick it's pathetic."

" You got off, though, otherwise you wouldn't be here," Helen commented, taking another sip from her now almost empty can. Rachel idly wondered how many more cans she had left.

" I did," Rachel wasn't going to elaborate on what happened at the hearing she'd had; it was doubtful Helen would want to hear the full blow by blow story, and besides she might say something both she and Gill had tried to cover up, mostly her. " But my brother was sent down, and though I was angry at him, he's still my brother." The look she sent at Helen made her captor back down. " Next time you claim to be a good sister, think twice. I took him in from during a rainy night, I looked after him when he was a kid, helped him with his homework, and tried to-" she shook her head. No matter how angry she was over Dom's previous conviction, Rachel felt guilty about it, not to mention how much her drunkenness had hurt him the second time.

Fortunately Helen could see this was a sensitive side, and left it alone. " What else happened?"

" I married my boyfriend," Rachel answered simply. " During that hell, he helped me. He didn't talk about marriage, instead he was there, a pillar of hope. He kept me busy, he was there for me, so I decided to marry him. But as soon as it was over, I began having second thoughts. I just put it down to jitters. I was wrong, but I tried, oh I tried," Rachel gave a little unamused laugh, she wanted everyone including Janet to listen to this, " I tried so fucking hard to make the damn thing work. I put up with him, his son, and I know his lad was growing on me, but he was so much like his father it was scary. When we first met, he stared at me like he was studying me under a microscope. But there was no passion. Every time I wanted him to do something, he wouldn't. He made no effort whatsoever to make the marriage work.

" Is most of it my fault? Yes, but the blame is both ours," Rachel sighed quietly.

" What's wrong?" Helen asked quietly, keeping her voice respectful.

" I met up with him before you jumped me," Rachel said, " we decided to divorce, but to remain friends."

" I'm happy to hear that," Helen replied honestly, " but what happened to make you split up in the first place?"

Rachel sighed. " I gave up on him," she said honestly. " I got drunk, had sex with someone, and he almost found me out. Later on I stopped going to my own flat to get away from him, later staying round at Janet's. Then it fell apart."

" Why?"

Rachel let out a breath. " I got drunk again, and I dragged one of my colleagues back, and had sex with him. Unfortunately Janet caught us because her youngest daughter had seen us."

" Damn."

" Yeah," Rachel agreed; that one word summed everything up nicely. " Now she hates me, her youngest, whom I see as a friend and a little sister is probably scarred for life, on top of that my husband burst into the office, and punched the guy Janet caught me with. Now I've been suspended because of it, now I'm trapped in this car, a belt wrapped round my neck, with you. But do you know what? Out of all that, I want nothing more for that girl to forgive me."

* * *

" Tell me what you've got planned," Rachel ordered. Since their last conversation, Helen had stopped speaking. Rachel had noticed she hadn't been taunted, goaded in some way. Maybe Helen did respect Rachel, but did she respect her enough to speak to her?

" What'll happen when somebody notices you're with me?" Helen countered, pointing at the cars. " I can't see any police nearby, following us."

That's what you think. Rachel had checked her phone in the last twenty minutes. It was still going on, every word that had been spoken in the last three hours had been heard. But she had to act dumb, troubled no one was looking for her. " I dunno," then thinking on her feet, she decided to make a little white lie, " my sister had asked me round to tea tonight, so when I don't arrive then she'll call the police."

" Do you think she'll call your friend, the blonde one?"

Something then occurred to Rachel, plus it got her mind off Janet. " Tell me something, why did you open up to me during that first investigation, was it because we were both abused?"

" Yeah. But I thought I could trust you," Helen looked away, peering over the top of her can to look out the window. " I'm glad I picked you up," she admitted.

Rachel didn't say anything else to that, but she repeated her question to her from earlier.

Helen didn't say a word at first. " You've been drinking, you've been going on about how people have wronged you. You've given up, haven't you?" Rachel asked. It made so much sense, for the past few hours Helen had been going on about how everyone and everything around her had turned to shit, and now she was taking a police officer hostage, on a trip to the east coast.

" People need to think twice about what they do to other people."

" Not going to happen," Rachel replied, " you're talking about an effect that's existed for centuries. People will always blame others, thinking they know the full story, when they know fuck all."

" Yeah, you're right," Helen nodded at her, " that's it exactly. And I'm taking you with me."

* * *

They were heading for the East coast, Flanborough head. " Why have we come here, Helen, to Flanborough head?" Rachel's mind was on that conversation Helen had had with Louise. It hadn't gone well. Then DSI Dodson and DCI Murray had tried speaking to her, but nothing they said could persuade Helen to stop what she was doing, and their attempts to speak with Rachel had failed, too. Helen may have trusted Rachel, but only to a point.

" I came here when I was a kid, school trip," Helen said shortly. " I loved it here, Rachel. I loved it. I felt free. I didn't want to leave this place," then she shifted, cans of lager rattling. Then Rachel felt the belt shift. " What're you doing?"

" I'm getting this belt off," Helen said, loosening the belt as they came closer to the lighthouse on the cliff. " There you go," she said graciously, beaming at her. Rachel relaxed, and shifted. " Thanks." Helen's eyes caught something on Rachel's knee. " What's this?" she hissed angrily, snatching the mobile from Rachel's knee. Rachel cursed angrily as Helen examined it. Helen may have occasionally come close to her, but her eyes had been fixed ahead, not on Rachel, or what she was doing. Rachel had known it was simply...blind luck Helen hadn't noticed the phone, until now. Then again it had been a risk Rachel had chanced. Helen slashed her knife down Rachel's cheek, making her gasp in pain.

" Did you hear that, you bastards?" Helen shrieked madly into the phone. " That's what's gonna happen when I kill your friend. Change of plan, I was going to leave her alive, but now. I can't trust anyone." She turned the phone off and turned to Rachel. " Don't move," she snapped.

" What're you gonna do?" Rachel asked, terrified.

* * *

DC Janet Scott and DSI Julie Dodson with DCI Gill Murray sat in a police car that was driving them to Flanborough head, followed by police vans, an armed assault squad, and a number of squad cars.

The three of them were listening to Rachel and Helen's conversation in the car. " _Why have we come here, Helen, to Flanborough head?" _Rachel was asking.

" _I came here when I was a kid, school trip,_" Helen's reply was short and crisp. "_ I loved it here, Rachel. I felt free. I didn't want to leave this place," _and over the phone was silence except for the distant ratting of something metallic. The lager cans? Rachel's voice came through as she asked a question. " _What're you doing_?" A sound came through from Rachel's phone, relayed to the phone in Janet's hand.

"_ I'm getting this belt off_," Helen answered. So that's what the sound was. " _There you go_," Helen said graciously.

"_Thanks_."

" _What's this_?" Janet almost jumped when she heard Helen. She sounded angry, then there was the sound of something moving. The phone. Helen had discovered Rachel's phone. Her heart sank. Then Rachel's gasp of pain after the knife made a slashing sound brought Janet up as she was terrified of losing her best friend, despite everything, their bickering, their feuding...Now she might never have a chance to make up with Rachel. " _Did you hear that, you bastards_?" Helen shouted madly down the phone. " _That's what's gonna happen when I kill your friend. Change of plan, I was going to leave her alive, but now. I can't trust anyone." _Then the phone went dead. Janet shot towards the driver before anyone knew what she was doing, " You heard her, drive faster!"

" Janet!" Gill tried pulling her back, but Janet pulled away. It had been a shitter of a day, it was supposed to be Gill's day off since she was getting things for the engagement party when she heard what had happened to Rachel. The operation had been put under Julie's control, for which Gill was grateful for since Gill wasn't sure she had the ability to even think straight when one of her own team was being held hostage by a madwoman, though Helen had fucking good reasoning for doing what she was doing.

Gill had spent the last few hours listening as Rachel tried to speak to Helen, tried to negotiate, tried to appeal to her, and now it seemed like the trust they'd managed to make, shaky as it was, had been broken. The waiting was the painful part. Gill liked Rachel, always had. But when Sean charging in, punching Kevin, even if the little fool had deserved it, she'd hit the roof. Rachel had been suspended, and Gill hadn't even bothered to ask her how she was, nor about what was happening. It was the same all the time, Gill would find out at the last minute her evil boss persona was so cast iron no one could speak to her.

Janet had been a wreck, Gill had been forced to overhear how Helen's needling and prodding into Rachel's life had simply made her cry her eyes out. When Rachel had brought that part up about Taisie catching Rachel in bed with Kevin, Gill hadn't trusted herself to look at Janet. She wanted to make amends with Rachel, but what Helen had just said, about killing Rachel...It made Gill think about all the times she'd treated Rachel, and now it seemed Kevin.

The revelation about Kevin finally snapping about the way he'd been treated had slapped not just Gill but Julie as well. If only Gill, and in many cases Julie, had instead sat down with Kevin, spoken to him, encourage him rather than bully him, maybe Helen's history and other information would never have leaked to the press.

Gill felt her heart sink in her chest as she thought about all the nasty little things she'd said to him. Then again no one had truly appreciated Kevin, but what surprised her was how long Kevin Lumb had held in all that anger.

* * *

They finally arrived at the cliff.

Janet's heart was pounding, her mouth was dry, and her blood felt like ice circulating through her body. Rachel's car was abandoned, the doors open, but that wasn't what caught their attention. Helen and Rachel were fighting each other, punching, kicking, screaming like madwomen. The pattern was the same, one of them would gain the upper hand, and hurt the other with a punch or a kick, but it wouldn't last long before their fight began again. How they got into that state was a mystery. Maybe Rachel had pretended to be cooperative before taking Helen by surprise. Janet shook the thought off. What did it matter when Rachel's life was at risk? Helen kneed Rachel in the chest, and only Gill and Julie's hands on her stopped Janet from running to Rachel's aid, making her double over, but Rachel sent a punch to Helen's kidneys. But Janet, and later her two bosses noticed that they were both too dangerously close to the cliff edge.

Janet shot out of the car, ignoring Gill and Julie. She wanted nothing more than to rush over to Rachel and Helen, but then it was too late. Rachel had finally pulled Helen's right arm into a lock, stopping her from attacking her and keeping Helen from trying to jump off the edge of the cliff, but then Helen screeched, and grabbed hold of Rachel, and jumped off the edge of the cliff, pulling Rachel screaming with her.

Janet ran to the edge, and peered over.

The sea was pounding against the chalk of the cliff, but there was no sign of Rachel or Helen.

" No," Janet gasped, shaking her head. " No. Rachel!" She screamed. " Rachel? Can you hear me?"

Julie and Gill came beside her.

" Janet-" Julie said.

" I've gotta help her!" Janet sobbed, but both senior police officers grabbed her. Gill bit her lip as she felt her eyes water, but she didn't blink them away. Even Julie had a tear in her eye.

" It's too late, Janet," Gill whispered. " She's dead."

* * *

Janet was sobbing her heart out, Julie sat next to her in Rachel's car.

Meanwhile Gill was on the phone to Rob back at the station. " Rob," Gill began shakily, breaking off with a sob before starting again, " Rachel and Helen...they're both dead."

* * *

**Most of the fight I described was inspired by the Granada version of Sherlock Holmes, " The Final Problem" where Professor Moriarty dragged Holmes over the edge. Felt it was appropriate, with Rachel being nicknamed Sherlock.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Loss. **

**The woman. **

* * *

The nurse was hovering over the latest patient, looking pityingly at the bandage wrapped round the girl's head. Suddenly the girls eyes flicked open, and she looked round at her surroundings with rising panic.

" Who am I?" she shouted. " Where am I? Why's my head hurting me?"

* * *

The nightmares were terrible, but the heartache was much worse.

_"...you're disgusting..."_

_" GET OUT!"_

_" You're miserable, Janet," _she says, her face contorted with anger. Please, no, Rachel. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!

" _I don't give a monkeys," _I say to her, watching the sadness mix with anger and disbelief on her face. I do. I do care about you, Rach. I was just angry, and disappointed you weren't taking a chance with Sean.

NO!

Janet shot up in bed, her sheets soaked in sweat as the memory of Rachel being dragged to her death stayed fixed in her mind. She couldn't cope, the image of her best friend falling to her death, to the last memory of her arguing with Rachel.

" I don't give a monkeys," her mind mocked her, and Janet closed her eyes tighter as tears trickled down her face. Shit.

" Mum?" a hesitant voice said from the doorway.

" Taisie? Hold on, I'll put the light on," Janet fumbled with the bedside lamp, and she blinked at the harshness of the light. She stared dimly at her youngest daughter. " What's up, kid?"

" I couldn't sleep," Taisie replied quietly, tears falling. Janet felt her heart clench with pain when she noted her daughter's stance. She seemed so unsure, so unlike her usual self.

" What's up?" Janet whispered quietly so as not to disturb Elise or her own mother.

Taisie's face glowered at her, more like her usual self. " What do you think? I had a dream, about...," she couldn't say it.

Janet nodded, guessing correctly whom it was Taisie had dreamt of, " About Rachel?"

Taisie winced at the name, her bravado failing, and fresh tears made their way down her cheeks. " Yeah," she whispered brokenly, looking down at her toes. " I -sorry, I just find myself in the house, outside that bedroom, and I open the door, and find myself trying to pull Rachel up that cliff, but my hand's sweaty, and she...she falls," Taisie cried harder, and Janet leapt out of bed, uncaring of who heard them, and wrapped her arms around Taisie's shaking shoulders, pulling her into a shaky embrace, as Janet was finding it hard not to burst out crying herself. " But that's not the worst," Taisie sobbed, pulling away and pinning her mother with a red rimmed stare, " Mum, Rachel was looking at me like she was disappointed I couldn't save her life!"

" Oh, sweetheart," Janet pulled her back into her hug, gripping Taisie hard. The dream Taisie had just described was terrifying in its content, more than her own. " You know Rachel was never disappointed with you."

" How do you know?" Taisie asked, her voice muffled against Janet's chest. " I walked in on her and Kevin that night. I didn't want to get her in trouble. I was just so shocked that's all, what if she hated me?" Taisie cried harder at the thought.

Janet's tears fell in Taisie's hair as she rubbed her daughters back, the same way she'd done it when her daughter had been a baby. " She never hated you," Janet tried to tell her daughter rationally, " she loved you and your sister equally." Taisie's dream and what she described the way Rachel had looked at her, with disappointment and anger made Janet wonder if Rachel was even aware of her presence as she was being dragged to her death. Taisie had no need to worry if Rachel was disappointed no one had tried to save her on the cliff, Janet did.

" I loved her too, mum," Taisie sobbed. " She was the bigger sister me and Elise never had. She was the first adult to truly understand me. She also helped Elise with her self confidence, understanding her as well, and she wasn't even a psychiatrist ." Taisie pulled away, and stared at her mother in the eye. " Do you remember when you first introduced us? I was having problems at school, but Rachel sat me down and listened, actually listened to me. You did too, but you had little luck, but Rachel did. She gave me good advice, and I looked up to her. I loved her. Elise loved her, too."

Janet remembered only too well what Taisie was talking about, and it was one of the reasons why she'd been so jealous of Rachel. Look at her, almost an old age pensioner, two teenager daughters brimming with hormones, and she was living with her mother.

Now Rachel, Rachel was young, bubbly and brimming with life, hiding the abuse Janet now knew she'd suffered behind a mask, and yet when she was with Taisie, she was like a mother or a sister when Janet could sometimes barely relate to her youngest. It was more or less the same with Elise, but Elise wasn't like Taisie, not by a long shot.

" She's right, mum," Elise's voice interrupted them. Janet and Taisie pulled away, but still held on to one another. Both of them looked at Elise. The girl standing in the doorway looked as bad as Janet herself thought she did, her eyes were red rimmed, and her hair was mussed. Wordlessly Janet held out one of her arms, inviting Elise into the embrace. Elise rushed over, and wrapped her arms around Janet and Taisie.

" What did you dream about?" Taisie asked her sister bluntly; Janet smirked. Taisie was so much like Rachel it was terrifying, both dark haired, both acted older than they were, and tougher, blunt to the point. But both girls were smarter than people thought they were, and both were kind and compassionate, though they often tried to hide it.

Elise let out a staggering breath. " I dreamt about us, having a picnic, Rachel was laughing at one of your jokes," she smiled at Taisie, though it vanished quickly " but then we were on a cliff, where that woman, Helen, was pulling Rachel to her death. There was no sign of you or anyone else. I tried to stop her, and pull Rachel away, but we were being dragged down the cliff. Rachel gripped my hand," tears started to fall from the older girl's eyes, but she forced the words out of her mouth in one breath, " and she told me to let her go, to save herself. And then, she fell."

Janet had thought she didn't have any more tears to shed, but she was wrong.

When Dorothy woke up, she went to check on her daughter and granddaughters, and she found all three in Janet's bed.

* * *

Gill Murray dressed and headed to work, even though her heart wasn't truly in it. For the last week Gill had thought back on the nightmare that happened, Rachel fighting Helen, gaining the upper hand, only to be pulled down to her death on the rocks and the sea below.

"_...you're good. One day, you'll be very good..."_

Gill remembered telling Rachel that, when they were in Bristol, dealing with that Leach investigation. She'd taken Rachel because she was one of her best detectives. Rachel had shown promise, and time and again she'd brought in results. Gill wasn't blind, she'd known Rachel looked up to her like a mother figure, which was why Gill had always been so hard on the girl. But after meeting Sharon Bailey, and comparing her to Alison, who'd held the family together when the old bitch had left, was it any surprise? Gill had seen first hand how Alison, usually a kind, motherly type of woman whom Gill both liked and respected, acted around her mother, the contempt had been so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Rachel was like her in many ways; she was just as vulnerable. Hearing about how Rachel had been abused as a kid had only made Gill's sense of guilt even worse, not to mention how her marriage had never worked out the way her DC had hoped.

When Sean had burst into the office, punched Kevin, Gill had leapt into her evil boss routine, and shouted and ranted at Rachel, and later suspended her from work. Gill remembered a few years before, when they'd lost the Steikos case, how she'd threatened to chuck Rachel off MIT, how Janet had told her in confidence that Rachel had lost her baby that same day, so she wasn't feeling well emotionally. Gill had almost rushed over to Rachel's afterwork, but the damage had been done, and besides would Rachel really want her anywhere near her?

Now that guilt was making a comeback. Why the fuck was it so hard for her to look out for her officers?

Gill shook her head. Now Rachel was dead, and she would have to accept that. But could she? Now she'd made the same mistake she'd made when she'd threatened to throw Rachel out, only this time she would never be able to tell Rachel how much she'd meant to her. Hell, she'd even made sure not to invite Rachel to Sammy and Orla's engagement do.

" I'm a bitch," Gill said to herself.

* * *

" Ma'am?" One of the officers looked up as DSI Julie Dodson walked in.

" What?" Julie asked, hoping for something distracting. She was due to meet up with the Assistant Chief con, and Julie had been hoping for anything to delay the meeting. Something about Karen Zalinski made Julie, who'd been arresting scum, seen autopsies, and all kinds of horrors that would make the ordinary person white in the face, nervous.

" Got a call from the Royal Oldham," the officer told her. " They've got a woman that needs identification, apparently she was brought in by fishermen from the east coast."

" The east coast, why the hell did they bring her here?" Julie asked; surely they had hospitals in Yorkshire?

" Apparently she's from Manchester, she has a gym card on her."

Julie sighed. " Okay. I'll get round there." She turned to leave, but her officer said, " Ma'am, I thought you and the Assistant Chief con had a meeting."

" We do," Julie stopped by the door. " If she rings, tell her where I am."

" Yes ma'am," the officer replied, thinking no chance will I talk to that frigid bitch.

* * *

" DSI Dodson," Julie informed the doctor who was meeting her, holding up her warrant card, then holding her hand out.

The doctor smiled, and gratefully took it. " Dr. Valentine, it's nice to meet you." Inwardly he was surprised the police would send a Detective Superintendent, but he didn't say anything about it.

" What can you tell me about your patient?" Julie cut to the chase.

Valentine shrugged, " Mid 30s, brown hair, brown eyes. The fishermen who brought her in said she was soaked to the skin, fully clothed. They said she was unconscious, and she had a nasty blow to the head."

Julie nodded, " What about this gym card? I was told it was how the fishermen knew she came from Manchester."

" Yes, here it is," Valentine reached into a pocket, and pulled out the gym card. Julie examined it. It was from Manchester alright, unless of course there were other places called Oldham in the country. She checked both sides, but found no name. Just a serial number and a phone number. Then she remembered something. " She's lost her memory?"

" Unless you hear someone ask in a clear Manchester accent going, " Who am I?" with a nasty bump on the head, then you'd think it was a joke. She's got amnesia."

" Okay, let me see her," Julie said, and the doctor took her into the room. Valentine led her over to the bed, and Julie's eyes widened as she took stock of the woman on the bed, a massive bandage round her head. Rachel. Rachel was here, she was alive. " Shit," she murmured.

Valentine looked at her hopefully, " You know her?"

" Know her?" Julie looked at the doctor. " I watched her fall from a cliff. I need to make a call."

* * *

Outside the hospital, Julie rang Gill.

" Hiya Slap," Gill said over the phone, though her voice sounded like her heart wasn't in it. Julie knew if she was going to say Rachel was in the hospital then Gill wouldn't believe her.

" Gill. I'm at the Royal Oldham. Get here quick. Bring Janet with you. Now." Julie ordered quickly before putting the phone down before her friend could ask her why. Now all she needed to do was wait. She couldn't thank her lucky stars, in fact none of them could, that Rachel had had her gym card on her when she'd fallen from the cliff. It made sense, Rachel's car had had a bag full of gym wear.

Julie sighed as she thought about Rachel's loss of memory. Would it be easy to get it back?

Finally Gill and Janet arrived. " Okay Julie, what the fuck is it, I was in the middle of a briefing?" Gill asked, none too happy.

" Gill, I know, but-" Julie tried to explain, but they were interrupted by Janet gasping.

" Rachel?!" she called as she watched a white gowned figure leave the hospital, a bandage wrapped round her head. Janet's eyes widened as she took in the girls features, her eyes wide with fear.

Rachel stopped for a moment, but then she started running away. " Rachel," Janet called. " Wait!"

Dr. Valentine staggered out, his hand on his head. Gill snapped out of her disbelief, and ran over to him with Julie. " Doctor, what happened?"

Valentine shook his head, wincing at the pain in his head when he'd made the move. " I was making sure she was okay, then she hit me."

Meanwhile Julie was on the phone. They had to find Rachel, and Julie knew exactly what to say to get things moving.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Loss. **

**Memory lane. **

On second thought, maybe leaving the hospital had been a poor choice, but at the time she had been so tired of constantly listening to the fucking nurses and doctors asking her how she was, whether she remembered anything, or if she would like something. But that woman who shouted the name Rachel had made her pause; was Rachel her name? If it was then fuck, she could have stayed and chatted with the nice blonde woman, but the other two...They all seemed familiar somehow, but who were they? The blonde woman had brought back a memory, in fact quite a few memories. The woman and the blonde were standing, talking a woman's toilet in someplace. Where they worked? Another memory of the woman walking in to witness an argument between the blonde woman, and a taller, well dressed, striking man, shouting at each other before the smaller, more petite woman she'd seen standing with the blonde and the other woman.

The woman ran fast, she must be a runner or something because she wasn't feeling breathless as she ran from the hospital.

Finally coming the main road, attracting stares for the bandage and the hospital gown, the woman paused to get some bearings. She had a crude idea of where to go, the picture of a house came to mind. And a bed. And a kitchen. And a couch.

Home.

A place she could rest, and figure out who she was. But how to get there from here? The woman racked her brains, and then she remembered a direction she could take that should be the shortest route home. She hoped.

The woman kept jogging on her way. A few minutes after the woman had turned a corner, a police car drove down the same road, but went another way.

* * *

As the woman jogged, she kept her eyes open for anything familiar. She knew she'd lived in Manchester all her life, her accent gave that away, and she knew the streets as she jogged down them though her feet were sore and cold. The familiarity helped immensely, it made her feel like she was close. Then her heart went cold as she stopped when she saw a couple of girls walking home, laughing. The short girl had brunette hair, whilst the taller girl had lightish hair in a bun that made her look very smart.

The woman paused, watching them. They seemed familiar to her. Memories or fragments of memories came back to her. They knew who she was, the woman thought happily, watching them as they crossed the road. They hadn't noticed her, yet. Both girls started crossing the road, laughing at something, and the woman was about to step forwards, and speak to them when one of the girls, the shorter brunette, dropped something on the ground, and the older one walked across the road and turned to wait for her friend. A car appeared, and the older girl called out, " TAISIE!" The younger girl looked up, but it was too late for her to back away.

That was it for the woman; she broke into a a run, past the surprised older girl, and shoved the young girl aside. She could see the driver of the car slam down the brakes, and cover his face with his arm. The car swerved. The brakes screeched, but it was too late. The front bumper slammed into the woman, making her lift into the air, and she crashed into the windshield. Then she slipped off.

* * *

Elise Scott had had a good day until now, trying unlike her emotional younger sibling to put the past behind her. It was the last thing Rachel would've wanted; her sister not wanting to live her life. Elise knew that, her mother knew that, her grandmother even if she hated Rachel knew that. Why her grandmother had hated Rachel was beyond Elise, was it because they had a different relationship, and she was jealous of it?

Elise shook it off.

As the Scott girls crossed the road, Taisie dropped something that scattered across the ground, and she told Elise to get to the other side of the road against the older girl's better judgement, and she went over to wait whilst Taisie picked up what she had on the road when a car came roaring out of nowhere. Elise had shouted for her sister, but it was too late. The car was too late. Elise wanted to move, wanted to shove her sister away, but she was rooted to the ground. All her life with Taisie flashed past, all those arguments, those make ups, and fall outs...

Suddenly there was a white blur with brown hair as a tall woman rushed past her, wearing a hospital gown of all things, and shoved Taisie out of the way before being slammed into and then crashing into the windshield. The car stopped, and the two girls rushed over to the car as the driver hopped out. He was fairly young, nervous as hell. He was babbling so Elise went over to him to try and make him relax, but Taisie's cry of surprise interrupted Elise's efforts. She went over to her sister, who was by the woman. Elise's eyes widened when she saw her face. " Rachel?" she gasped.

Taisie's eyes watered, but she checked for a pulse. " She's still alive!"

* * *

Rachel woke up in hospital a few hours later. God, her head felt like hell.

" She's awake!" someone said, and she looked round to see Taisie and Elise standing to one side. A hand on her shoulder made her jump, but she relaxed when she saw it was Janet. Standing close by were Gill and Julie, but Rachel only had eyes on Janet. " Thanks for saving Taisie," she said, her eyes sad and happy.

Rachel looked at Taisie's happy and slightly regretful face. " What's wrong, kid?"

Taisie sighed. " I'm so sorry, Rach, for getting you kicked out and in trouble. Look what it's got you," she gestured at Rachel in the hospital bed.

Rachel sighed herself. " Taisie, it was going to happen anyway. Sooner or later, Sean and I were going to divorce."

" You really tried to make it work," Gill said sadly. " We overheard you in the office, especially the part about you being, you know."

Rachel licked her lips. " Yeah, just leave that part out. Yeah."

Gill nodded, and Rachel turned back to Janet. " I'm so sorry, Janet. Taisie." She looked at the girl who shook her apology off. " It's okay, Rach."

" Me and Sean broke it off, but we've decided to stay friends. I guess that's better that him resenting me." Rachel said with a smile.

Janet smiled, but it quickly vanished. " How much do you remember?"

Rachel's face dimmed. " Everything. I remember Helen dragging me down that cliff, the shock of ice cold water...waking up briefly on that fishing boat to waking up in hospital."

" You lost your memory," Julie said.

Rachel closed her eyes. " Yeah. I was terrified when I was asked who I was but I couldn't remember my own name, my address, who my friends were...There's nothing scarier than that, not even Helen Bartlett was that scary."

" Seriously?" Elise asked disbelievingly.

" Seriously, Elise," Rachel replied grimly. " I just let my police training take over, if I hadn't then she would've killed me. I just played along when I was patching everything through to the office at work. I would've preferred any other way, though. I just wished Helen hadn't chosen to kill herself."

" It was either that or prison," Julie replied to that. " But you're right, it would've been preferable."

Rachel shook her head. " No. Helen dreaded prison. After working so hard to get away from the hell of her childhood, who would blame her? For a time she succeeded in getting away, only for Eunice's death to take her life away from her. When she came back to tell us about what happened in that cellar," she shrugged, " she felt let down. I know how she felt."

The police officers present knew what she meant, but they didn't say anything about it.

" Why did you leave the hospital?" Gill asked.

Rachel looked sheepishly at her hands. " I can't stand hospitals. And anyway, I couldn't recover my memories here," she held her arms out around the room, " I had to get out. I'd hoped to recover my memories by walking around town, and it worked. I recognised streets, shops...and then I saw you two."

" You knew who we were, but you didn't know our names?" Elise said when Rachel looked at the two Scott girls.

" Yeah," Rachel nodded. " I'd hoped to speak to you both, find out who I was and hope to god it would bring my memories back. Then that car came-"

A brunette bullet slammed into Rachel. The DC coughed when Taisie knocked the breath out of her. " Hey!" Janet interrupted, pulling her daughter slightly to loosen her hold. " Don't suffocate Rachel."

Taisie jumped back in fear. Rachel glared at Janet before wrapping Taisie in her arms. " Thanks for helping me get my memories back," she whispered.

The girl looked at her surprised. " What? But the car-"

" Eh, forget it. I'd do it again to keep you safe." Rachel looked up through Taisie's hair, and locked her eyes with Gills. " What now?" she asked.

" What do you want to happen?" Gill asked.

" Well," Rachel began, " I'd like to get out of this bed, get back to my flat. Then I'd like to get back to work when my suspensions finished."

Gill looked sheepish. " Your suspension's rescinded. But I want you to get back on your feet." She fixed Rachel with a stern glare. Rachel pouted.

" Okay," she mumbled, making everyone laugh.

Janet tapped Rachel teasingly on her nose. " Soon then Robin, we can get back fighting crime in Gotham city."

Rachel stuck her tongue out, and then smirked. " Oi, you're Robin. I'm Batman!"

Janet laughed. " She's Rachel, okay!"

Rachel looked at her friend. " Friends?"

Janet wrapped her in a hug, dragging a squealing Taisie into the hug as well.

* * *

The end.


End file.
